Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
