I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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