Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
