After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
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