I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize