How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
