Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize