I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize