you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
