We won't sleep together?
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I have fence marks all over my body
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
