You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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