when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Randomize