can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
