i was born a porn star she said
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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