Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
and she was petting her beer can
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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