we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
