I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
