Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
She needs sedatives and a leash
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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