She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
