But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
