I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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