You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
