I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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