dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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