It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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