I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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