No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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