Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
my god I love twenty year old dicks
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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