stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
