Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Randomize
