Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
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