BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Why is your signature on my underwear?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.