I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means