I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
