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• (323): View more from California

  At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.

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• (415): View more from California

  no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex

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• (231): View more from Michigan

  Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever

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  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (314): View more from Missouri

  The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.

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• (210): View more from Texas

  Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?

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• (862): View more from New Jersey

  Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house

  (713): View more from Texas

  So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?

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  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (205): View more from Alabama

  So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.

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• (623): View more from Arizona

  That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.

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• (941): View more from Florida

  When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.

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• (858): View more from California

  did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week

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