this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
