the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff