i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto