So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
