Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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