Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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