shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
false alarm, still single
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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