i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
she looked like the before picture.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I have peed in a lot of sinks
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
