thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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