two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
