i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
love makes seman taste better
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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