hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
