My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
