Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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