non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
