I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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