So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize
