yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
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