Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
