I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
