no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
