That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
zippers are such a cool invention
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
