he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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