Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
