Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I want a musical about memes.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I think I just sharted jello shots
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
