So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
So much rum. So many feels.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Terrible idea I love it
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
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