I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
We're too hungover to prance.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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