This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Randomize
