Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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