so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
