do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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