I bet he comes in French.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Never let your siblings swipe right.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
