We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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