Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
