i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
